Tonight was rough. It started out with me trying to shower Kyle without taking a shower myself. Every night is a whole lotta “Stop pulling my hair! Don’t splash me please!”. Seriously, every night. Tonight I stood there with wet hair and wet clothes, feeling defeated. I was frustrated and then it hit me that this is my life. What I wanted to do was run into my room and quit. Buuuut that’s not an option. So instead I fought with him more to brush his teeth, which is a whole lotta “don’t bite the tooth brush! Quiet hands please! We’re almost done!” Then we went into his room where I just was ready to hurry and get him dressed. But that wasn’t what happened.
He decided today he wanted Kung fu panda on the iPad. To most that sounds like a simple request. And sometimes it is. Tonight it wasn’t.
Years ago when the first one came out McDonald’s gave out the figurines in their happy meals. Kyle became obsessed. We held onto those toys through several moves. But eventually they were lost. Every once in awhile Kyle will ask for one In particular, tai lung. The bad guy. He LOVES that one. Most of the time he will accept that we don’t have it anymore. He insists I look under his bed because ONE time that’s where we found it.
Well tonight he became so set on having it. He asked about a thousand times using his hands. I knew exactly what he was asking for. And after he asked nicely several times he became more and more upset. He refused to get dressed and then went into full fledge meltdown mode. Like nothing was going to calm him down. I felt so helpless because he would start to calm down and try so hard to explain to me what he wanted. He was almost desperate. I kept reassuring him I knew what he wanted but I didn’t have it. That only made it worse. I left the room a few times hoping he would settle down but he only got more upset.
At one point I was explaining to Marie that they were old McDonald’s toys that he was asking for. To which Kyle began asking for the car over and over. Pretty sure he heard me say McDonald’s and he thought that the car would take him to the toy he was so obsessed with getting. 😭
At this point I started to feel sad. I was trying so hard to communicate to him that I understood what he was asking for it just wasn’t something I could make happen. He was trying so hard to calm himself down and explain to me what he wanted hoping that if he asked appropriately he would get it.
It sucked. This sucks. Why can’t our life be easier? Everyday is hard. For me. For Kyle too.
He calmed down enough that a Reese’s, which he hardly gets worked to get him to stand up and refocus. He jumped up and finished getting his pajamas on and settled down completely. He asked for the figures a few more times but accepted that I didn’t have them.
I’m laying next to him now and just finished purchasing used McDonald’s Kung fu panda toys on eBay for $50 bucks. 🤦🏻♀️ Kyles birthday is next week and he will LOVE them. I’m grateful that people still have them and that eBay exists cuz there are few things that bring Kyle joy. Those toys bring him joy. ❤️
Tonight was hard. Just like yesterday was and tomorrow will be. But even as I type that I am grateful for the hard life I live. The opportunities to grow DAILY are worth it. And watching his face light up when he opens those $50 worth of McDonald’s toys is gonna be the best! ❤️