Tough gig

Do I even need to say how today went? 😏 Apparently he had a great day at school, but the bus ride home didn’t go as well. He walked off the bus, no shoes no socks. Never a good sign. He was banging on the bus window and Janine asked him to stop-like she usually does…and for some reason that was too big of a request. So while the bus was dropping off a student and the doors were open Kyle seizes on that-He threw his iPad out of the bus doors. But didn’t stop there, while Janine was getting it, he threw his shoes AND socks out too. Then threw a fit-probably knowing he lost access to the iPad. As soon as she told me what happened I knew I had to follow through and keep the iPad away….if I want his behavior to change I have to endure the consequences with him. Suck. I had Marie still come today-I should have canceled. Rookie move. It was too much. And she still is learning what he can and can’t handle, especially on a no iPad day. By the time bath time came he was in full blown meltdown mode. And I was in no patience left mode. We survived bath time and pajamas…barely. Now we lay here. Him trying to relax and fall asleep and me over thinking of course. Sometimes I question if I’m doing the right thing? Sometimes I question if I’m doing enough? Sometimes I question if it’s something I’m doing or not doing that is preventing Kyle from getting easier. I know I’m not supposed to compare but I read other people’s posts about their kids with autism or fragile x and they are thriving and are able to do so much more-it’s hard not to question why we aren’t at that place. What am I not doing right? Don’t get me wrong, Kyle has come far. Like really far. I guess i just wish it was further and his progress would come at a faster rate. Being Kyle’s mom is a tough gig. I guess it’s a good thing there’s tomorrow. Since giving up isn’t an option, we’ll wake up and try harder tomorrow to get further….and try not to throw iPads and shoes out of the bus. 🙄#shouldabeenablogpost #autism #fragilex

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