Joy.

So, my prayers were answered. Kyle has pretty much put puking on the shelf. BUT not without replacing it. 😏 When he gets super upset he wets himself now. Awesome. I’m trying to decide what’s worse…cleaning up puke or pee? I haven’t yet decided.

Today Kyle struggled with the transition of Marie arriving. He struggled for a good 45 minutes. Within those 45 minutes he decided to pee…on my carpet upstairs then sit in it while refusing to stand up and get in the shower.

I think today I was too tired to get upset. So I just remained calm (for the most part) and quiet. All the while thinking how I wish my Saturday was being spent doing something much different.

When I finally got him bathed he continued to struggle, made it downstairs only to struggle some more. I’m still not sure why Marie shows up. If I were her I would have quit a long time ago. Working with kids like Kyle is definitely not for the weak.

She gave him simple tasks and he would just refuse and then get mad. It’s so frustrating to watch. Just pick up the cup Kyle and hand it to her nicely Kyle!

After fighting through his stubbornness he finally caved. And the last half of the session went smoothly. I was afraid to jinx it by pulling out my phone to record it so I didn’t record the better half.

He asked to draw-which rarely happens. But it’s so cute when he does. He took a pen and paper and drew lots of lines and circles. And was very proud of his work! It actually made me forget about the pee i had to clean up and the horrible meltdown that had just occurred. It made me smile watching him.

Every single day is like this in some way. I’m on a roller coaster of emotions. And he probably is too. One minute I’m so mad at him and the very next minute he makes me smile and laugh.

I guess Kyle helps me recognize daily what it means to experience true joy. The sorrow and pain that comes with raising Kyle doesn’t go without reward. I know and appreciate joy and happiness BECAUSE of the pain and sorrow. When I stop and realize the lessons he is constantly teaching me I am so humbled. Without him I don’t know if I’d be able to look around and truly find joy in the small and simple things.

So even though he’s replaced puking with peeing, I lay here next to him feeling grateful. Grateful that God let ME be this special boys mom.

Side note: I do not always feel grateful for the sorrow and pain. Some days I wish I could just experience the joy and skip the sorrow! Today I guess I was able to see the bigger picture and needed to document it! ❤️

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