I made it…barely

Sunday. January. 13. 2019

Today ms Kim, Kyle’s teacher from kindergarten-4th grade came and stayed with him while we went to church. She said he stayed up in his room the entire time! Even when she tried to lure him down with candy! 😂 He even skipped lunch! His anxiety has so many reactions. This time it was to stay in his room! 😂

Church was good. It was what I needed. I felt recharged.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow Kyle is back to his routine. Well, back at a routine he will now have to relearn. But I’m up for that, I hope.

We’ve been talking about going back to school and riding the bus for the last couple days. Of course he tells me “no”! But he’s goin! Ive asked his other amazing teacher, Fonda (who helps us often), from elementary school to come tomorrow morning to help get him on the bus. For some reason he hops on no problem with her just standing there. Again, his anxiety manifests itself in different ways. I sure wish he acted like he does with Fonda and Kim for me though! Wishful thinking.

I’ve prepped him and tried to prepare the best I can. I hope tomorrow goes well. Cuz I could sure use a really good day! My nightly prayer is probably gonna be a really long one and a lot of begging and pleading! 🙏🏻🤞🏻

But even if it doesn’t, I will make it. Cuz I just survived the longest and hardest Christmas break ever! And I am super proud of myself! I really do get stronger with each trial that comes with being Kyle’s mom. It’s hard. Really hard. And some days I wanna tap out. Some days I want to run away. Some days I just wanna cry and I do. Some days I run out of patience. But I show up everyday! And I try my best.So today as I lay next to Kyle at the end of these hard, really hard,3 weeks and think about tomorrow and the new set of trials. Trials that come with getting back into the school routine, I’m telling myself I can do it. Cuz I always do. Somehow, someway I dig deep and find strength that I gained from another Kyle trial. So here it goes. Bring it on tomorrow. I’m ready…I think!

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