January 8th 2019
It’s 2:23 and I’m ready to tap out. It’s only Tuesday. Kyle doesn’t go back to school until next Monday. That seems So. Far. Away. 😩 My anxiety is through the roof. Which I’m sure is not helping Kyle’s.
He’s already thrown his iPad twice because I didn’t understand what he wanted. I’m still not even sure HE knew what he wanted. He’s had 3 meltdowns. One has to do with me taking him on a drive…which he usually likes. We didn’t make it on the drive.
Every month we have issues with Kyle’s anxiety meds. Without fail. I have to fight and argue and bug the pharmacy to fight an argue with medi-cal. So we’ve been fighting almost a month to get his meds. I don’t have enough in me to fight this week. So I’m trying to ignore it til next week when he goes back to school. But in the meantime my anxiety about it is through the roof.
Why does he have medi-cal? Why not regular insurance? Well….kind of complicated. But since you asked. He automatically qualifies for it because of his diagnosis. When ca decided to pass a law requiring insurance companies to pay for autism therapies (aba basically Erika) it messes us up. Insurance companies decided to say-ok but we are only going to give you the minimum amount. So to make a long story short if he just has medi-cal (no secondary)he will receive more (much needed) therapy hours through just medi-cal. Does that make sense? It’s dumb but whatever.
But guess what else is a headache? Every year we have to reapply for medi-cal. Even though he automatically qualifies. I still have to fill out pages of financial documents and bank statements and such- all for them to send me a denial letter because I didn’t send in a paper they didn’t ask for. For them to then realize he automatically qualifies. I’m always stressed when that Manila envelope comes. It came last week. So now I have that cloud hanging over my head and guess what it sprinkles all over me…ANXIETY! I seriously don’t know how people work the “system” because it is a pain in the butt and could be a job in and of itself! The phone calls alone take all day!
I just want the routine back. I just want to fast forward to next month. I just want a vacation. I just want million dollars. 😏
Next week will be better. If I survive this week!