Redo

Last week Kyle had the best week ever! Every single morning Kyle was good-on Thursday AND Friday he even walked on the bus with NO help from James! 👏Every single day Janine walked off the bus with a smile saying how great Kyles day was! 😃

This week. And it’s only Tuesday. Not so great😏. Yesterday was rough getting on the bus. It’s the first time in a while james has had to muscle kyle into his seat. And Janine walked off the bus yesterday saying in her sweet Janine voice, “well, last week was definitely better” followed up by a positive “but he’s just testing us!” She’s always so nice about it! 🤦🏻‍♀️

This morning was one of his worst (I feel like i say that a lot) getting on the bus days. By far. He started out mad. Why? No idea. I have some guesses. But that’s all it is. I had what seemed to be everything he requires to get on the bus. His iPad. His backpack. A piece of candy. And his giant blanket he insists on bringing every morning. So why he was so upset, only Kyle knows.

James struggled several times to get Kyle on the bus, while Kyle screamed as if someone was trying to sever a finger of his. 🤦🏻‍♀️ All this at 6am. I’m sure my neighbors loved it. 😩 i stood in the bus praying Kyle would just get on and that James wouldn’t hurt himself! Every-time James tried, Kyle would get more upset. It was going on 10 minutes of full blown meltdown mode. Kyle was sitting on the ground in front of the bus (still crying)and Janine asked the super awesome bus driver, Sue, if she could leave and pick up a few students and come back around and try again after Kyle was settled down. Sue, thankfully, didn’t even hesitate! 🙏🏻

The bus drove off with all of Kyles stuff and Janine! James picked Kyle up and guided him back into the house-all while Kyle was still screaming. Screaming really loud. Once Kyle was back inside, it only took maybe a minute and Kyle was calm again.

We sat in silence. I think we all felt a little defeated. After a few minutes I talked myself into starting over. I started to prime Kyle for when the bus would come back. I told him over and over and over, “when the bus comes back you need to get on the bus nicely.”I said this probably 50 times. He listened intensely. I know he was really trying to process what i was saying. He sat on the couch near the window and waited quietly for the bus.

The bus showed up about 10 minutes later for round two. I crossed my fingers and prayed hard. Low and behold Kyle walked out to the bus and up the stairs all on his own! James stood at the door with Gooding. It took 5 minutes and a lot of “you can do it” and “keep going” and ” first sit in your seat then you can get your candy”! But he did it. He got on the bus and sat in his seat. No screaming. No fighting.

Today I was once again reminded that people are placed in Kyles life not by chance. God loves me and he knows my life is hard. He places people in my life to help ease my burdens. Sue, the bus driver is most definitely supposed to be Kyle’s driver. Not all bus drivers are patient and kind and willing to go above and beyond- like come back for round two after sitting in front of my house for over 10 minutes the first time! Janine is most definitely supposed to be Kyle’s bus aide. She knows Kyle so well that she knew he had reached his meltdown point of no return. I’m grateful she spoke up. And Kyle was able to get on the bus successfully in the end. She knew he just needed a redo.

In moments like this morning when I want to quit. When I want to throw in the towel. When I am so frustrated with not knowing why some days are easier than others with the bus. When my patience is thin. When I feel defeated. Kyle reminds me (in his own special way) that sometimes all I need is a moment to regroup and start over. A redo. A moment to recognize my blessings amidst the trial. I can do this! ❤️

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