Throughout Kyle’s life we have been blessed by some amazing people. From teachers to therapists to doctors. All of them have been a piece to Kyle’s extremely complicated puzzle but some have been a piece to my puzzle (slightly less complicated but only slightly 😉) as well. One of those people is Ciarra.
I have talked about Ciarra a few times before being an integral part of Kyle’s behavioral team. And she has. She is one of the main reasons Kyle has come so far. She has created amazing programs that have caused Kyle to progress in ways I can never thank her enough for. She has done awesome things for Kyle’s progress. She has taught Erika to be a great therapist which has made Kyles progreSs that much more.
But as much as she has done for Kyle she has done more for me. Since the moment I met Ciarra she has called or text me to check on me at least once a week. She is always brutally honest with me, but in a way that makes me want to push myself. She is always encouraging and is one of my biggest cheerleaders. And after 5 years I consider her my friend.
Today ciarra and I met as we usually do every couple of weeks. The only difference is today we had to discuss her transitioning out. She is pregnant and going on maternity leave at the end of the month. She says she’s coming back part time but we will see! 😉
We chatted as usual then moved on to discuss the upcoming transition of erika taking on the supervisor role. Then she asked how things were going-she reads my blog so she already knows! 😉 She mentioned the bus and then proceeded to do what she does best! She boosted me up by laying into me! 😂 Is that even possible? Well somehow Ciarra totally can pull this off! I told you-she’s amazing! We talked about how business trips for James are inevitable and that I need to go outside of my comfort zone and ask for help. Create a team for when things like Business trips come up, so James can leave and feel confident that I’m not going to have a mental breakdown..again. 😬 Or decide to keep Kyle home knowing that he won’t get on the bus without James there. 🤦🏻♀️She explained that I can do this and I should! She told me that it’s ok for me to ask for help, to pay someone to help me. That it’s smart! She gave me advice on how I should build a team of people that I can pay to help when James is gone or when I need a break. And I shouldn’t feel guilty and it doesn’t make me a bad mom. By the time she was done, I was so confident in my ability to go outside my comfort zone and ask for help with Kyle, and most importantly she had convinced me it’s ok and necessary for my own sanity.
I have always struggled with sharing the load that comes with Kyle. I only feel like I can ask my mom or James for help. And even then I am reluctant. I have always felt that Kyle is so difficult and that asking someone to endure the difficulty for a period of time was not ok. Even as I write this out it sounds so silly. But it’s how I feel. I’m his mom it’s my load to carry.
Ciarra opened my eyes today like she has so many other times. But today she reassured me that it’s ok to share the load. It’s ok to pay someone to help me. It’s ok to accept help from others. It’s ok to need help, because Kyle IS hard. It’s ok and it’s necessary. Especially as he gets older and bigger.
Being Kyle’s mom means constantly learning, constantly growing and stretching myself. Being Kyle’s mom also means I am able to meet extraordinary people that end up being lifelong friends. People like Ciarra.
As Ciarra transitions out I know we will stay in contact-even if she decides not to come back. Maybe not on a professional level but definitely on a friendship level. I am so grateful that God continues to place people in my life that a perfect fit to not only Kyle’s puzzle but mine as well. 💙