Summer. I hate summer. There, I said it. I know, HATE is a strong word but I feel strongly about my dislike for summer. I didn’t always hate summer. In fact as a kid, it was my favorite time of year. I remember we always had a family vacation planned, trips to the beach often and we made a family trip to Raging Waters (a water park) every year! I remember long days of having friends over jumping on the trampoline and sleep overs and just over all fun! So naturally when I became a mom I had future plans for FUN summers filled with vacations, beach trips and a house full of my kids and their friends. Well, my summers are definitely not like anything I imagined…and sometimes (well, pretty much every day ;)) I have to dig deep to smile and appreciate the summer days despite how different they are from what I wanted them to be.
Our summers aren’t filled with beach trips, sleep overs, and definitely no vacations planned! Our summers are mostly spent at home with lots of playing in the hose and made up games in the back yard! With a little drive through McDonalds here and there and a whole lot of meltdowns! We TRY to make a beach trip or 2 if we are lucky, but going to the beach with Kyle is a lot of work and he only lasts maybe 2 hours-where the other kids want to stay all day! And driving 2 hours to only stay 2 hours and then drive home 2 hours never sounds like a great idea! A couple of summers ago, I got brave and paid Erika to come along with us on a trip to big bear with my family for 3 days. It went ok but on day 2, I ended up in tears after a long day of dealing with meltdowns. I swore I’d never do a family vacation again-and I am still in that mindset! haha Having other kids here adds more noise and isn’t in Kyle’s routine, more often than not resulting in extra meltdowns, so sleepovers are rare and having a house full of extra kids doesn’t happen often. Soooooo, that leaves my kids with not many options but somehow we have managed to survive every summer…and I have a feeling we will continue to survive! My kids are champs, I can’t say that enough.
Sometimes, I find myself looking at social media becoming envious of my family and friends, as I see their amazing pictures of summer vacations, lake trips and beach trips or just their daily outings that they are experiencing with their families. When Kyle was diagnosed all those years ago, I went through a grieving process (another blog post for another day). Because when your child is diagnosed, you realize there are things in your life that you have to give up. Summer is something I lost when I became Kyle’s mom. So every time summer rolls around I find myself in a bit of a slump and have to pull myself up. And sometimes that means I have to pretend to smile when I wanna go upstairs and cry about the summer I wish I could give my kids. But that’s not an option so instead I am going to try to make the best of another summer and appreciate what we DO get to do as a family.